After All This
by GreenSkittlesForGaara
Summary: Chapter 402 Tribute! Sasuke's feelings towards Itachi, after... well I can't say due to HUMUNGO SPOLIER ISSUES, but yes... Slight SuiSasu. Sasuke's sad and Suigetsu comforts him, like the good little water man he is.


After all this…

**WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SO MANY SPOILERS IT'S NOT FUNNY!! If you are not up to chapter 402, I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE THIS FIC NOW!! Also, it will contain very, very slight Yaoi, but this is more focused on Sasuke and Itachi. There will be nothing serious though, but there will be a kiss. Technically two.**

**Oh and if you like Karin, too bad. She's a dirty slut and will hardly even be mentioned in this fic, because she sucks.**

**And, there will be some swearing, because as my motto goes, I have a filthy mouth and a dirtier mind.**

**P.S. This is set on the night before chapter 402, but there will be a skip to it at the end.**

**XxX**

After all this, I don't know really what to think, my brother.

After all the pain and suffering, all the agonising memories, all the blood shed, I think I forgive you. Now that I know the reason.

The reason you killed our clan and fled our home village to become a missing nin. You did it to save us all from the next world war. To save the world, you needed to kill the clan. Everyone had to die, for peace to continue to reign.

From that fateful night that you killed our clan when I was seven, and made the memories replay again and again in my mind, I hated you. I hated you with every fibre of my being. I hated myself, for sharing the same DNA strands as you did.

In truth, I wanted, _needed_ to kill myself. But not before I killed you first.

**XxX**

Here I sit, next to your grave. Suigetsu, Juugo and Karin are off in the distance, setting up our camp for the night. Tobi is not in sight, but I know he's nearby somewhere. He's probably talking to the Akatsuki leader, as he was technically still in league with them.

My jet black hair blows softly in the night wind as I continue to gaze as your grave. It wasn't a real grave, really. Just a haphazard hole dug in the ground, with dirt filling it and rocks placed on the top. There was one big rock near the top, with a near perfect flat surface for engraving something. But my problem was…

I had no idea what to write.

I couldn't exactly write: _Here lies Uchiha Itachi, missing nin of Konoha, killer of all Uchihas._ I don't really think that would pan out so well.

'_What am I going to do with you?!'_ I thought disdainfully.

He felt a hand come down on my shoulder, and I looked up silently. My teammate Suigetsu grinned down at me. "Hey man, you okay?" He asked.

I kept my face emotionless. "I'm fine. What do you want?"

Suigetsu frowned and sat down beside me. "You've been sitting here for five hours straight now. I wanted to make sure you weren't going to suddenly go crazy and kill yourself."

I scoffed. "Since when have you cared about anyone?"

"Since now."

I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. Suigetsu merely grinned in a Naruto-like way (just with sharper teeth), but his eyes shone with sadness. "Though it makes me feel stupid for admitting it, you're like my best mate, Sasuke."

I looked back at the grave, not answering him.

He spoke up again. "Do you… think of me as a friend?"

"You're my teammate."

There was a long pause before Suigetsu sighed. "That's it, huh?"

Again, I didn't respond. Quietly I placed one palm against the rocks near my feet and closed my eyes. I could just feel the last of your chakra under the earth, slowly ebbing away as time took its course. You haven't been dead for more than two days yet, and I myself felt like absolute shit.

Suigetsu put his hand on my arm again. I opened my eyes to look at him. He flinched away lightly when he saw I had activated my sharingan.

"Damn, those new ones are weird." He growled, looking closely at my eyes. I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't actually seen them myself yet.

Curiosity got the better of me and I finally asked, "What do they look like?"

Suigetsu seemed startled that I wanted his help, but recovered quickly, grinning again. "Well, their kinda hard to explain… I'll try and draw it."

He looked around and saw a small stick. He stood up, grabbed it, then walked over to a small area of soft dirt and began scratching at it. After a few moments, he growled and wiped the dirt out. He looked over his shoulder at me and frowned. "Come over here," He growled. "I need to look at it."

Reluctant to leave my place at your feet, I paused for a moment before silently standing and making my way over to him. I sat across from him and stared at him emotionlessly. He wasn't unnerved and tried to draw it again, every now and then looking at my eyes for reference. A few times it seemed he was doing well, but in the end, he growled and scratched them all out.

Grunting with dissatisfaction, he sat back and glared at the stick in his hand.

Suddenly he thought of something and grinned again. He raised both his hands at me. "Wait right here." He said. I merely nodded back.

He rushed off back to the campsite and after a few shouts were heard and after he had successfully tied Karin to a tree, he returned with Juugo in tow. He grinned down at me again, with that Naruto-ish smile. "Juugo's a good drawer. He agreed to do it." He explained.

Juugo stared back at me with the same amount of emotionlessness I had in my own eyes, though there was a hint of jealousy in there also. I immediately knew that it was because I had been freed of the curse seal, and he was forever doomed to have it, seeing as it was what he was born with, not something implanted in him my Orochimaru.

Nevertheless he leaned down and looked closely into my eyes. It kinda freaked me out, the _slightest bit_ about the fact he was so close. Hell, I could feel his breath. He normally wasn't someone to come anywhere near someone's personal space.

He stared at my eyes for a few moments more before nodding and sitting down, picking up Suigetsu's discarded stick. He immediately began to scratch into the dirt, looking up a few times to check. After about a minute or two he nodded again and looked at me. "It's as close as I can get it." He said in his monotone voice.

I nodded also and looked down at it.

It reminded me of a diagram of an atom, though I hadn't seen one since the academy, four years ago, so I couldn't be sure. It had the standard black dot in the middle, then black oval shapes overlapping others around it. I raised an eyebrow at it and looked up at the males in my team.

"Is that really it?" I asked.

Suigetsu nodded. "Yup, that's pretty much them. I told you they were weird."

The slightest whisper of a smirk crossed my face, but as small as it was, both Suigetsu and Juugo caught it. Juugo smirked back at me and patted my shoulder with his large hand, and Suigetsu just continued to grin like the idiot he was.

For the first time since I had left Konoha, I actually felt… happy.

Sort of.

The feel of Juugo's hand was the same as my father's on his better days. When he wasn't doting after you, or angry at you, or making sure I would _be_ like you. …Or working.

It was like when my father actually had shown some sort of compassion towards me, that kind of feeling.

And Suigetsu… well… he was just being Suigetsu. There was a small reminder of Naruto in that grin and in the playfulness of him, but aside from that, they didn't really have much in common. For one thing, Suigetsu had a better taste in food, and he could actually be quiet every now and then.

Juugo stood up and began to make his way back to camp. I stood also and walked back to your gravestone. I sat back down before you, and placed my hand back to the earth, trying to sense you again.

All your chakra was gone now. An overwhelming wave of despair crashed over me, threatening to pull me under. I closed my eyes tighter and bit back my emotions. I hadn't been here to feel you die…

I was so caught up in keeping my emotions at bay that I was caught completely unawares when Suigetsu called my name. I jumped in shock and opened my eyes to look at him. I could feel my sharingan spinning wildly.

Suigetsu looked kind of shocked too. His eyes were widened and he was leaning back on his arms, blinking at me stupidly. Apparently, he hadn't expected me to act like that.

"A-Are you sure you okay man?"

I glared at him and looked back at the grave. "I'm fine. What is it this time?"

Suigetsu paused for a moment, apprehensive. I looked at him again, monitoring him. "Well?" I asked coldly.

"Well… you need to leave him for a bit. Maybe grab some food? You need to keep nourished, if you want to heal fast."

I raised an eyebrow. He sounded just like my mother used to.

As soon as the thought swept across my head, I was again saddened. To think my parents, _my very own parents_, were the reason everyone died. They were leading the coup de tat against Konoha, and they were the reason you killed everyone.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, massaging my temples lightly. I couldn't move as well as I liked, what with having major wounds covering every inch of my body. Not to mention the 'Kirin' attack had pretty much fried my hand.

Giving in, I stood slowly and followed the silver haired man back to the campsite. Karin (who had been untied, regretfully), Juugo and Tobi were all waiting there, sitting around a campfire eating the animals Suigetsu had caught earlier.

I sat down quietly and Karin handed me a plate. Where she got it I have no idea, but I nodded in silent thanks nonetheless. Suigetsu plopped down beside me and grabbed his own plate, seeing as Karin dubbed him to be healthy and annoying enough to do it himself.

We ate in silence. We never really had been ones to talk to each other. Suigetsu only really talked normally when it was just him and I, and Juugo was well, Juugo. Karin would like to blather on whenever she got time alone with him, and naturally tried to molest him a few times, which _never_ worked out for her. All she ever got was a glare and possibly a 'fuck off'.

Juugo was the first to finish. He put his plate on the ground in front of him, before standing and leaving without a word. It was a common occurrence, but no-one ever knew where he went and they never bothered to question it. Tobi finished next and also walked off, probably to finish his talk with Akatsuki, or to contact another of his… contacts…

Yeah.

Even though Karin had been the first to eat, she ate like a proper lady (didn't suit her at _all_) so she was the last to finish. I couldn't eat all of mine, so I just left half there and put it back on the ground. Suigetsu wasn't far off me, seeing as he just scoffed his down.

Catching me by surprise, he grabbed my arm (thankfully in a non wounded place) and pulled lightly. "Come on, I wanna show ya something."

I contemplated him silently. He growled and tugged a little harder. "Come _on_! It's not like I'm gonna molest you, like _Karin here_." He laughed as he ducked a flying sharp implement of some kind.

"Say that again asshole." She growled, flipping her long black hair.

Before a fight started I sighed and stood up, silencing them both. I looked pointedly at Suigetsu, and he began to walk off into the trees, me following him. We walked for a few minutes in silence, while he looked around at our surroundings.

Finally we came to a small clearing, with a flat rock in the middle. He gestured for me to sit down.

I looked at him. "Why?"

"Just do it already!" He groaned in exasperation. I stared at him for a few more moments before walking and sitting down on the edge.

"So why am I here?" I asked emotionlessly.

"I wanted to talk about your brother. Here seemed to be far enough away that they wouldn't hear us, but close enough that that stupid git tracker Karin doesn't come looking for us." He smirked back.

I frowned and began to stand again, but he stepped forward, pushing me back down. "Come on man, out with it. I know you wanna talk about it to _someone_, even if it is just me."

I stared back, not letting any emotions through my barrier. I really didn't want to talk about you. It would just bring unwanted feelings to the surface.

He came and sat cross legged on the rock, facing my direction. He didn't smile, or smirk, or do anything else to show emotion. Not even his dark rimmed eyes betrayed his thoughts, for once. "I know I'm not exactly the best candidate for it, but I at least know a little more about Itachi than they do."

I raised one fine eyebrow. "Do you now?"

"Well, my brother was friends with Kisame, his partner. At a time when I was with my brother, we ran into them a few times."

Hmm, he'd never mentioned that to me before. I looked at him with slightly more interest now.

"I never really talked to the guy properly, but we did exchange greetings. Well, I said my name and he just stared at me. Kisame just laughed and introduced him for him. But, that still ups me on them, right? I actually met him, before he was dead."

I tried to hide the wince I had when he mentioned you dead, but it was still noticed. A small flash of worry lit up his eyes.

"…You really loved him, didn't ya?"

I scoffed and looked away. "What are you talking about. No matter what, he still killed my family."

"Yeah, all to protect everyone! What do you think the world would be like if he had refused the mission and just let them all live?! There wouldn't be a world anymore! And even so, he couldn't kill you, his little brother. DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING?!" He finished, yelling.

I kept my eyes on the stone of the rock to my right. It was completely silent in the tiny clearing. Technically, it couldn't even be called a clearing; it was only about three meters around.

To say I was surprised when he pulled me into a hug would be an understatement. The last physical contact I had had with anyone, that I could remember was when you had prodded my head that time, saying your kind, yet so very cruel words and dying.

I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the words, and raised my arms to grip Suigetsu back loosely, for comfort. For a man obsessed with water, be was really warm. As the words didn't fade, and just began to reverberate around my head, I gripped tighter, burying my head in his shoulder. I knew I was being hideously weak, but I didn't care right now.

I just wanted the words to leave me alone.

The other man rubbed my back soothingly, not knowing what else to do. He wasn't exactly the comforting type, and trying to comfort a distraught Uchiha teen wasn't something easily done.

No tears came from my eyes, but a few pitiful sobs wracked my body. We rubbed circles into my lower back with his palm and leaned his head lightly on mine, not saying a word.

I was beginning to realise how much I actually did care for the silver haired man. Even though I hated to admit it, but Naruto would always be unconditionally my best friend, but Suigetsu came close. He was the only person in the group who actually seemed to like him. Fair enough Karin was obsessed with him, and Juugo would follow any order given to him without question nor grumble, but Suigetsu seemed to actually _like him_. Like him for who he was, not what he was.

Slowly, I raised my eyes to look at Suigetsu. He grinned sadly at me, and a very, very, _ever so small_ smile pulled at my lips.

That was enough for him.

Slowly, he leaned down and pressed a feather-light kiss to my lips, catching me by surprise. I froze in shock and waited for him to pull back. He did for a moment, but moved straight back in again, pressing our lips together firmly.

Even though a voice in the back of my head screamed that this was wrong, that he was a guy, I couldn't force myself to pull back. So I did the only thing that came to my mind.

I kissed him back.

**XxX**

The sun was rising in the distance as I sat in front of your grave again. I didn't sleep last night, but I hardly ever slept anymore. I was quite used to running on one night of sleep a week, but it gave me really dark circles under my eyes. A silent joke to myself was that I was beginning to look like Gaara.

I stood quietly and looked at my handiwork. I finally decided on a name for your gravestone.

Smiling ever so slightly, I turned and looked at my group. They all stood, waiting for me. I gestured to them all and we began to run, leaving you behind in that forest clearing. In a few minutes we reached a rocky beach and I ran up to it, jumping on the rock furthest out. I closed my eyes and let the icy sea breeze awaken my senses.

I could feel Tobi, Karin and Juugo all standing back, looking at me oddly. They knew slightly of the pain I felt for you, but they didn't understand.

They one person who was closest to understanding what I was feeling was a few rocks away, giving me space. I opened my eyes and looked over my shoulder at him, giving him the faintest glimpse of a smirk. He grinned back, baring his sharp white teeth at me.

I turned back to the sea and let me memories wash over me, accepting them.

_XxX_

"_I'm home…" You called tiredly._

_I sat up in excitement, dropping my toy and rushing out to meet you. "Nii-san!" I called happily, barrelling into your stomach. "You're home!"_

_You grabbed my shoulders to stop us falling. I looked up at you excitedly. "Let's play nii-san!"_

_My voice hopped as asked you, "Whatcha wanna do?" in a mischievous voice._

_Our mother peeked from around the corner with a basket of washing and closed her eyes, frowning. "Sasuke! Your brother has lots of homework from the academy! You can play after he's done!" She scolded._

_I looked at the ground, disappointed. You smiled at me sadly. You spoke up to our mother. "I can do my homework later, the assignment's really simple!"_

_I grinned and looked back at mother, laughing at her._

_--_

_I stood next to a tree, looking around furtively. __**'Where's he hiding?!'**__I thought to myself._

_I noticed a foot peeking out from a tree a few down. I ran over and looked around, grinning. "FOUND YOU!" I yelled._

_You smiled at me. "Not bad Sasuke…" He formed a handseal. "But…" You poofed away in a cloud of smoke. "Not good either!"_

"_AHH! NO FAIR!!" I yelled, pouting._

_--_

_We sat at dinner later, when I stood up and spoke to my dad, wanting revenge on You. "Hey Dad! Me an' Itachi played hide and seek today, an' I found him but he ran away with a clone! That's not fair, right?!"_

_There was a pause before his dad smiled. But instead of the help he was looking for, he just looked over at you and said, "Wow, you can use the clone technique already?"_

_I looked at both you and dad silently. That wasn't how it was supposed to go! I turned to you and grinned._

"_Hey, big bro! Teach me the clone technique after dinner!"_

"_Homework!" Gritted out our mother._

_I looked sadly at the floor again. "Awww…"_

_You caught my attention and smile sadly, poking me in the forehead. "I'm sorry Sasuke. Maybe next time."_

_XxX_

_We stood in the forest, after a long afternoon of you training me. You sighed and looked at the sky, seeing it slowly turning to dusk. "Let's go home, Sasuke."_

_I pouted angrily. "You promised teach me some new shuriken throws today!"_

_You looked at me. "I've got an important mission tomorrow, I need to make sure I'm prepared."_

"_You lied nii-san." I growled in accusation._

_There was a pause before you smiled and gestured to me. I grinned again and ran at you, two kunais at the ready in my hands. Before I could do anything though, you reached up and poke my head. "I'm sorry Sasuke. Maybe next time."_

_I glared and pouted at the same time at you. _

_You watched in surprise as I pulled both the kunai up in front of me and yelled, "Watch this nii-san!"_

_I charged, yelling._

_He yelled at me to stop. "Don't, you're not ready-"_

_It was too late._

_--_

_We walked through the streets, with me riding on your back. I sprained my ankle really bad, and you hand to carry me home._

"_Hey, nii-san, will you train me again next time. too?" I asked you._

"_Sure…" You replied. "Just remember, I've got missions, and your first day at the academy's tomorrow. We'll both be really busy from now on."_

_I smiled quietly at you. We continued to walk and I rubbed my head into your hair, taking in your comforting scent. "That's okay… just as long as we can be together sometimes…"_

_XxX_

"_You and I are unique, Sasuke. Unique brothers. I exist as the ultimate obstacle that you must strive to overcome."_

XxX

_I walked up behind you, smiling. "Nii-san…" I called._

_You looked back at me._

"_Come help me with my shuriken training today…"_

_You paused, before answering in a kind voice, "I'm too busy. Ask father to teach you."_

_I pouted. "But you're better at it… I still may be a kid, but even I know that. How come you always treat me like I'm annoying you?"_

_You looked at me for a moment, before gesturing me forward. I silently padding towards you, fearin what you would do next._

_And, of course, it did. You did it again._

_You poked me in the forehead. "I'm sorry, Sasuke. Maybe next time."_

_XxX_

_**I exist as the ultimate obstacle you must strive to overcome.**_

_And we'll continue to exist together._

_**Even if you come to hate me because of it… **_

_**That's what being the older brother is about.**_

_XxX_

_You have me backed against a wall, panting heavily in exhaustion. The battle has taken so much out of both of us. You slowly make your way towards me, hand outstretched, ready to take my eyes._

_The frown on your lips slowly transforms into a small smile, catching me by surprise._

_Your hand is getting closer. I shrink back closer to the wall, knowing this is the end. I lost to you._

_You hand is two inches from my eye._

_One inch…_

_Suddenly it jolts up and you just poke me in the forehead instead. Your body is sagging, overcome with exhaustion._

_Slowly you pull away again, ever so slowly. My eyes question you._

_Then, you closed your eyes and smiled like you always do. Finally, you uttered the wordsa that shattered my heart._

"_I'm sorry, Sasuke._

_There won't be a next time."_

_XxX_

**(A/N: I would just like to make note that I just walked out into another room, that had the radio playing, and 'What I've Done' by Linkin Park was playing. I would like to say, SO NOT HELPING!)**

I couldn't hold it back anymore. Tears streamed down my face. I gritted my teeth and tried to hold back the shaking of my body.

Nobody else moved. They didn't know what to do. Not even Suigetsu.

Sniffing pathetically, I rubbed at my eyes, but the tears, pent up after years of holding back flowed freely down my face. The wind blew through my hair, pulling it across my face.

A hawk cawed as it flew overhead, soaring into the updrafts and flying high into the sky.

I finally willed the tears to stop and looked back out at the sea. I breathed deeply a few times, before my shaky voice spoke up to my teammates above the crashing of the waves.

"Our group will no longer be known as 'snake'." I called. "From now on, we refer to ourselves as 'hawk'.

I closed my eyes again and said a silent prayer to you, who was the inspiration. Soaring high, trying to escape your troubles, and fighting to protect the things you care about. As elusive as the hawk.

"'Hawk has only one purpose. One goal."

There was a long pause.

'_I miss you nii-san… I love you…'_

"THE COMPLETE AND UTTER DESTRUCTION OF THE LEAF!" I yelled out into the waves, sharingan activated and my eyelids puffy from the crying.

I felt Suigetsu jump up to meet me, Karin, Juugo and Tobi following. Slowly, Suigetsu reached out a grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

I looked over at him and he grinned back at me, laughing when I scowled and palmed my face to rub away the tears.

"Atta boy, Sasuke."

**XxX**

**(Scratches back of head)**

**Ehehehe… well… yeah…**

**I'll have you know, I'm not actually a fan of this pairing.**

**Or at least… I WASN'T. Now that I have written this completely off the top of my head, I think I like it.**

**I tried to stay as close to the real manga as possible, even using the exact same memories. I hope you be liking!**

**Though, the thing about Suigetsu and his brother travelling together might not be true, we know nothing of his past yet, really. Other than that Kisame did know him when he was smaller, if even just as the younger brother of Houzuki Mangetsu.**

**And, I know for a fact that he would actually say something like 'Atta boy'. He says it at… **_**some **_**point…**

**OH YEAH!! Thankyous go to Bleachfan93 for helping me with finding out Kisame and Suigetsu's relationship. Much gratitude.**

**I really had to do a tribute to Itachi, after hearing all that was said, and what he did for everyone, and for Sasuke. It was just so cute, and self sacrificing!**

**XxX**

**Ducku: (bawls) I ONLY JUST BECAME AN ITACHI FAN TOO! THEN HE HAD TO DIE!!**

**Tifa-cha: Pats him consolingly.**

**Naiya: (Folds arms) Yeah right. Itachi is SO evil still! I don't care what… that writer person…**

**Greens: MASASHI KISHIMOTO-SENSEI!! BAKA!!**

**Naiya: (rolls eyes) Yeh, him. I don't care what he says, Itachi will always be evil! Tobi is conning them!**

**Greens/Ducku: NO HE'S NOT!!**

**Naiya: I'm suuure…! (sarcasm)**

**XxX**

**Oh, yeah, sorry. It was an actual conversation we had outside Tifa-chan and Naiya-chan's ancient history classroom.**

**And if you don't know who they are, Tifa-chan is one of my friends, and an OC of mine. (FF account is TifaLovesAnime)**

**Naiya hasn't actually popped up in any of my currently posted stories, but she will show up at some point. Be patient.**

**She may sound like a bitch to you currently, and true enough she can be annoying as hell sometimes, but hey, if you knew ME, you'd be running in the opposite direction, throwing holy water behind you screaming "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"**

**Yeah… (scratches back of head and laughs awkwardly)**

**Ja Ne and review!**


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